There's a lot of my fellow bloggers who have been sharing their musings on this recent Conference weekend. I want to assure you all, while I'm not "dead inside," I just don't have enough guts to publicly share such internal things. Anyone who's been around me knows that I don't hesitate to talk about superficial junk till the cows come home, especially here on the blog. I aim to keep it light, silly, and borderline a little pointless. Only rarely will I be 100% serious unless we're 1-on-1. Now just might be one of those times.
I've come to a little realization lately. I found that there are a few trials I have been given that I just don't get a free ticket out of. Even if I work really hard, remain faithful, and do everything right, it's still going to be there. That's just the way it is. So in reality, the "trial" is not the problem itself, but more my ability to deal with it. This is probably not a new concept to any of us. Sooooo my friends, my question is: what do you do next? When you realize that it's not the situation that needs to change, but only your attitude about it, how do you do that? How do you change your outlook about something you can't control, especially something that makes you unhappy? How do you face the future knowing that you will have this to deal with, and genuinely accept it?
I would LOVE to hear your thoughts and advice. Sorry I can't be more specific, but I hope all of that made some sense!
7 comments:
Holy Cow - I had the SAME thought. There are trials that will be there forever. My big trial is living so far from family in a place that I really don't like at all (ok, I hate it). This may seem like a silly trial or whatever, but it tears me up inside ALL THE TIME. And, I see no end to it. I will live here for a LONG LONG LONG LONG time, so far away from my parents and my siblings. My children will never have a real relationship with their cousins. This is so hard for me. It is a trial that will continue.
I wish I had some magical answer on how to change your attitude about stuff that you must endure for a lifetime. But I don't.
I sort of just muddle through and try to make the best of what I've got - even though that's so hard and sounds like a really dumb cliche. Actually, I really suck at sucking it up and being cheerful about it all.
It's also hard to see other people have trials that come and go (or have a definite end) and my trials and heartaches seem to never let up.
I just think that there has to be some huge reward for us after we endure it all.
I'm sorry. Just so you know - you're not alone.
I guess my only thought would be to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.
You'll probably never really be able to accept these difficult and long standing trials unless you completely turn it over to the Lord for help, guidance and love.
I know it's super difficult to remember, or accept this, but if you can always remember that the Lord will never give us more than what he knows we can handle, then I think that helps us to realize that even if we feel like we can't or don't want to be able to handle it all, He's always there to guide us and help lighten our load.
I have a family member that could've written your words exactly. We talked and discussed and really, at that point, you just have to pray. For my family member, it's prayers for patience.
When I've felt really burdened down, I write down EVERY single blessing I can think of. Seriously, every one. I hear suggestions to do this all the time, but it really works. I've done it more than once and every time it helps me realize that amongst a difficult trial, there are still SO many blessings.
Amy, I look at some of the things that I know you go through and I think you are amazing! You are always positive and "go with the flow."
Don't they always say we should lose ourselves serving others to forget ourselves. I totally recommend Pres. Uchtdorf's talk from the RS General Session this last Sept. He addresses this and did a good job (I suggest this because I'm WORKING on it).
Hey Amy, I actually read your blog every now and then. Hope you don't mind! I'm a woman of few to no profound words, but thought I might add some thoughts. Hopefully this works for you, cause it works for me. I have to ask myself or do 4 things. #1: try to find the good in the situation. Believe it or not, there is something good in EVERY situation. Just find it. #2: try to find out what you are suppose to learn from the situation or experience. #3: Think about what you are already blessed with. #4: Remember that God allows everything that happens to us for a good reason. If you have to answer these questions outloud to yourself, do it. After answering these questions you will realize that your situation may not be so bad after all and hopefully you will be able to understand why you are going through whatever it is you are going through. This has ALWAYS helped me, so I hope it can help you too!
You've gotten some really good advice Amy. I particularly second what Kate said - I'd follow that advice to the tee. Embracing gratitude and joy heals so many wounds.
I think you've already taken the hardest step: realizing that you have to accept whatever this difficulty is in your life. For a permanent kind of trial, that's REALLY hard to do. So I think you're doing okay and will find the peace you seek.
I only have one other piece of advice to share, since you're asking. There was a particularly dark period of my life about 4 years ago, brought about by a situation I did nothing to create, and did not deserve. I genuinely hope it's the hardest thing I'll ever have to go through. But in the middle of it all, the Lord was with me, and the peace He gave me then has been unmatched by any other time in my life before or since. It was the greatest blessing I've ever received. But those times were hard. If I ever felt tempted to give in to despair, this scripture gave me great comfort - and perspective: D&C 122:5-8. If the Savior Himself endured more suffering than any human ever will, who am I to complain? This scripture reminds me that my Heavenly Father loves me, that my love for Him does not go unnoticed, and that trials are not necessarily a judgment on us or inflicted as a punishment. I can trust Him to either calm the storm or the sailor within it, as He chooses, and allow myself to feel joy in His caring hand. I was just the other day talking to a friend about this. She, too, is in the middle of an incredibly difficult, seemingly unending trial. We agreed that it's important to remember that trials have nothing to do with personal righteousness. We have to be careful about our feelings toward the Lord during trials, because any anger or resentment toward the Lord comes from pride. He could never bless me ever again for the rest of my days and I'd still be in His debt. We have to accept all He gives us, good or bad, with humility. I have no business approaching Him with a "why me" attitude, or the equivalent of "but I follow the commandments - why is this happening?" And it always helps me to remember that no matter how bad something is, it can always be worse. There's always someone who's suffering more, and we never have to look very far to find them. Like Kate said, look for the blessings, look for the lessons, trust God completely. He loves you deeply.
I don't think I can say any better what everyone else has already said.
Someone said to me just this weekend, "Life is hard, might as well smile and have fun along the way to help things go by." I think you do a good job of that.
I think it's so much harder to change an attitude towards something, than to try to figure out how to "fix" a trial. I've actually been really focusing on changing behaviors and developing Christ like attributes while reading my scriptures lately. And like I said before, it's so much harder to change how you behave or feel, as opposed to changing the things around you. But I do think it can be done.
If you ever want to talk to about these trials, and unload them, give me a call. You know I'm always up for a good long talk.
Post a Comment